My internal monologue about Jason Bay

The other night on Prime Time Sports (I know, I know…), as the topic of Alex Rios’s departure was being discussed, Bob McCown made a passing, un-followed-up remark about the possibility of the Jays making an offseason trade: Financial Flexibility in exchange for Jason Bay. My frenzied internal monologue fired up almost immediately, whereupon my idea for this printed back-and-forth was born (or, I flipped channels and stole “Formidable Opponent” from Stephen Colbert, either way…)

From a dumbly simplistic patriotic point of view, it sure would be cool to have a legitimate Canadian superstar playing for the Jays. By that, you mean a recently-anointed dual citizen, whose family clearly isn’t too perturbed about the prospect of living south of the 49. Either way, the man’s an all-star and did represent us at the WBC. So, what, Scott Richmond isn’t a legitimate Canadian superstar? Then why did they “save” him for that all-or-nothing matchup against the Venezuelans, which never happened? Too soon, jerk, too soon. In seriousness, Bay has said he’d welcome a move to the Jays at some point. Yeah, that’s when he played for the Pirates, numbnuts. I’m sure he would have welcomed a move to the Sioux City Gonorrhea Peddlers if it could have gotten him out of Pittsburgh.

There has to be some appeal to him about playing in his home country, though. Uh, maybe, but it’s probably not as strong as the appeal of winning baseball games, and the possibility of winning the World Series — which, as you’ve noticed, is something the Red Sox can offer him much more readily than the Jays can. Fine, but there’s no guarantee that Boston will necessarily keep him around. They’ve given up on trying to negotiate a long-term deal this season, and Bay is set to hit the open market at the end of 2009. I clicked your link, smarty pants. Sounds like Bay’s perfectly content to stick around in Boston if they’ll give him what he thinks is fair market value.

Well, what is fair market value for Bay? He’s making $7.5 million and is on pace for 30/100, but he’s sitting on a .253 average and .881 OPS. Sitting on? As opposed to Rios’s lofty .264 average and eye-roll-inducing .744 OPS? All for the low, low price of $9.5 million? I think it’s safe to say Bay’s in line for a raise, and if the Jays had any chance of luring him away, they’d essentially need to blow all of the Rios and Rolen cash, which would still leave them without… well… a whole lot of things. But they’d put asses in seats! Imagine the marketing potential! People wouldn’t worry about how many games the Jays were out of the wild card race, they’d flock to see their Canadian hero! How gullible and stupid do you think Toronto sports fans are?

Do I really need to answer that? No, no you don’t.

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7 thoughts on “My internal monologue about Jason Bay

  1. great monologue. but they Jays need a bat more than anything, and Bay provides that…and then some. Wells, Snider/Lind, Bay in the OF sounds pretty good…especially since Wells cannot be worse than he currently is, so his game and numbers should be better in 2010.

    the Jays rotation will still be pretty solid in April 2010, with Halladay and Romero being the top two hurlers along with your choice of 3 of Cecil, Richmond, Marcum, Zep, Tallet, Mills and whoever else comes to the offseason camp. even with a patch-work rotation filled with rookies, they are pitching very well. its just that the clutch hitting isn’t there and the bullpen isnt being used properly/sucking ass.

    signing Bay (the dream signing) may entice Scutaro to take a “hometown discount” (in comparison to what he’s worth in the open market). this will keep their middle infield among the best in the league, both offensively and defensively.

  2. Hmm, first off you wrote OBP when you meant to write OPS …

    Second off, this was funny…

    Third, do the Sioux City Gonnorrhea Peddlers have any roster openings for next season?

    Fourth, Bay would be nice, but, really… It seems a bit bizarro world that would ever happen..

    A marquee player coming FROM a top-notch team to join the Jays instead of the other way around? It’s not 92/93 anymore, but hey, we can dream I suppose!

    I really can’t see him not resigning in Boston… I mean, this is purely anecdotal, but isn’t he pretty revered over there? Not that I’m suggesting Theo Epstein will sign a player simply because the Massholes enjoy him, but, he’s also been pretty good at baseball while there, no?

    Lastly, he still popped out against Putz in the WBC and broke my heart, when he had the chance to make what easily would have been my best baseball moment of all life. Even still, as a loss, it’s still quite a poignant memory, but damn Bay, ONE TIME go deep and my life is perfect that one beautiful day in Toronto.

    • Hey man, internal monologues don’t need to have any resemblance to reality; that’s why they usually never see the light of day. Bay’s staying put, barring something extreme and unforeseen, but being a Jays fan has become an exercise in daring to dream, right?

      And the OBP/OPS fuck-up has been fixed. That’s why they pay you the big bucks!

  3. Ahhh Mr. Squizz… I didn’t realize this was you who posted this entry until just now …

    If you listen to fans at the Dome, I think being a Jays fan is about showing up to boo Vernon Wells in hopes that he never regains his old form.

    Also, a random aside.. I wish Aaron Hill walked more.

  4. But … I suppose I can deal with 35 homeruns but only a like .325 OBP … It’s odd though, you would think as his rep as a homerun hitter grew he would start to get less pitches to hit and would walk more.. But, he still seems to get a ton of first pitch fastballs and fastballs early in the count, which he jumps on and turns into the afforementioned homeruns.

    Umm yes, so there is a totally unrelated aside about Aaron Hill, for no reason whatsoever.

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