When the Jays beat the Red Sox 7-6 on April 15th, it was a great time to be alive for a Blue Jays fan. The loss dropped Boston’s record to 2-10 and at the time put Toronto back up over .500, at 7-6.
I took the liberties of heading over to the MLB.com Boston Red Sox forum after that game just to soak in some of the atmosphere of a broken club and its crazed fanbase. I had (overly optimistic) intentions at that point of the Jays either sweeping, or taking three-out-of-four from the Sox, the Boston fanbase getting progressively more crazy and worried and me writing up a post-weekend blog post laughing at the Red Sox and their desperate fans.
As we now know, however, it was the Red Sox who took three-of-four from the Jays and they have since gone on to
right the ship … turn their season around … stop losing every single game, moving their record up to a seemingly-not-quite-so-daunting 6-11 mark.
As a result, a sense of calm has started to wash over the Red Sox online nation and that’s just not that much fun. No, gentle reader, I prefer to live in the world where Boston was 2-10. So, I give you some of the best of the best from their fan message board, when panic level was high in Beantown, immediately following their 7-6 defeat to the Blue Jays.
I will note that my comments are in bold and the message board comments of idiots are in the italic text. All spelling, punctuation, etc. has just been left as is on their postings (despite my urges to want to clean it up).
This gem came in a thread entitled, “Booing Carl Crawford” :
He deserves it.
He should be Booed so loudly that he will be so sorry that he ever signed here. RS fans should make life so miserable for him that he will want to get out of town straight after this season. Just cancel the rest of his deal and let him be a FA again.
What a Bust with a capital B. Jenks was not a good sign either.
Ten losses., 110 more to be with the 62 Mets. It can be done. Keep up the good work boys.
From that same thread, we then move on to the type of soothsayer who was able to figure out the entire worth of a seven-year contract after one stretch of 12 bad games for ol’ Carl:
Worst signing in the history of baseball.
22 Million for a weak hitting lamo base stealer?
Worst… ever? Well jeez, that’s harsh. I know he wasn’t hitting at all or fielding particularly well, but he does have a sweet neck tattoo, no?
Staying on the topic of those who have an eye into the future, there was this brilliant thread entitled “said it from day 1” :
this teams pitching is so horrendous they will be lucky to win any game. now its come to fruition. i will be accepting your apologies in this thread.
Lester, Lackey, Beckett, Bard, Papelbon, the lot of them – horrendous. I’d hate to hear what adjective he uses to describe Toronto’s pitching staff.
Moving on, we have the health doses of scorn which were heaped upon Jarrod Saltalamacchia for his role in Boston’s early season futility. I swear, it was like listening to Jays fans talk about Overbay or Wells over the past few years.:
We should call hem Saltalamessia, because his game is a mess.
Hitting .138 and doing nothing for the staff & can’ tthrow a runner out & a bad catcher.
He is one of the worst RS players in the 45 seasons I have watched and followed this team.
Is anyone worse? Bring back Marc Sullivan, he cannot be any worse.
I think the outright most shocking thing is that this fan claims to have been following the Red Sox for 45 seasons. Which would mean he is at least 45 years old. Which would mean the above post wasn’t written by a 12-year-old.
Finally, because like a Red Sox losing streak, all good things must come to an end, we finish off on this beautiful piece of tinfoil hat logic:
Everyone knows about the curse of the Bambino which ended in 2004, when after 86 years the Sox rid themselves of the curse and finally won a WS.
I am wondering whether another one started last year with all of the incredible number of injuries and is carrying over into this year where everything is going wrong.
Could this be a return visit for the Curse of the Bambino and/or did Sox do something else prior to start of last season to precipate all of the bad things befalling them of late?
If there is a new curse, does anyone have any ideas as to what it is and how the Sox can rid themselves of it.
All responses are welcome, and if there are any Sox fans out there who are exorcists or know of anyone who is, their responses would also certainly be welcome.
This, my friends, is why I hate the Boston Red Sox. Ever since they won their two World Series their fanbase seems to think they have some sort of sense of entitlement to winning baseball games. As if being Boston and calling your fanbase a “nation” is reason enough that other teams should just immediately concede to the fact that you will win 100 games and a pennant. Losing streak couldn’t be because your team is playing bad baseball. It must be a curse, call the exorcist!
The sad part is, the mass hysteria and panic has likely already subsided. But, mark my words, I will be trolling those forums a little more regularly, should the Red Sox continue to falter, to bring those Darwin Award candidates and their baseball insights to the public’s attention.
I should also note that I’ve also spent a reasonable amount of time in the past at the Blue Jays MLB.com forums and there’s a healthy dose of ridiculousness over there too. I’m not going to preach all high and mighty that Jays fans spend their time debating advanced sabremetrics and don’t get into their share of tinfoil hat or foolish topics as well. Nor am I suggesting that every Red Sox fan is an idiot. However, it certainly seems to be a heavy number per capita.
Good luck Boston, in breaking the curse of “We had so many people injured last year and that’s the only reason we didn’t win the World Series, and someone must still be punishing us now.”
Hmm, Bambino just rolls off the tongue a little bit easier.